This essay was submitted on October 28, 2020 for my Christian Spirituality course.
In her autobiography Story of a Soul, Therese of Lisieux illustrates the night of faith that she experienced, a trial that shows Therese’s strong faith and trust in God is not bound in feelings of consolation but in God alone, and it is through her great faith that she is able to endure suffering and darkness. Therese describes this trial of faith as one that made her experience the darkness found in the souls of those who do not have faith, which was painful for her to endure because she had previously felt the joys of seeing the light of God. She illustrates her belief of heaven through a metaphor: “I imagine I was born in a country that is covered in thick fog. I never had the experience of contemplating the joyful appearance of nature flooded and transformed by the brilliance of the sun” (X, 5v, p. 195). She continues the metaphor to say that she believed there exists a marvellous land where the sun shines and she did not only believe this because other people had told her about it, but “[she] felt in the bottom of [her] heart real longings for this most beautiful country" (X, 6v, p. 196). This longing in the depths of her heart disappears in her trial of faith, “[…] the fog that surrounds [her] became more dense; it penetrates [her] soul and envelopes it in such a way that it is impossible to discover within it the sweet image of [her] Fatherland” (X, 6v, p. 196). Penetrated by fog, she feels as if the voices of sinners are speaking in the darkness, attempting to convince her that heaven does not exist, but rather a “night of nothingness” (X, 6v, p. 196) lies after death. In her trial, she sits at the table with other sinners, but does not wish to rise from the table until God wills it. Instead she uses this opportunity to pray for the souls who lack faith, asking for mercy from God on behalf of these souls, “Have pity on us, O Lord, for we are poor sinners!” (X, 6r, p. 196).
While she cannot feel the joys of her faith, Therese still insists on having faith in God and continues to carry on her works of faith. She recognizes the mercy of God at this time and relays a sense of gratitude as she writes, ”Never have I felt before this, dear Mother, how sweet and merciful the Lord really is, for He did not send me this trial until the moment I was capable of bearing it" (X, 7v, p. 198). Therese takes this moment of tribulation to recognize the ways God desires nothing but the best for her, knowing that He allowed for this trial so she can continue to grow spiritually. One way she continues to cultivate her spiritual life is by pursuing works of faith. Therese says, “[...] while I do not have the joy of faith, I am trying to carry out its work at least. I believe I have made more acts of faith in this past year than all though my whole life” (X, 7r, p. 197). Her faith endures when she does not permit the darkness in her soul to poison her actions, and she hides her feeling of sorrow from others so this darkness has no opportunity to infect those around her. Therese acknowledges that it may seem to others as if she bears joy, not burden, in her soul, but she says, “When I sing of the happiness of heaven and of the eternal possession of God, I feel no joy in this, for I simply sing what I WANT TO BELIEVE” (X, 7v, p. 198). Intellectually Therese knows what she believes, and despite the fact this intellect is shallow in conviction compared to knowledge from the depths of her heart, she insists on this knowledge as truth and acts upon it.
I believe Therese exemplifies an admirable strength of faith and trust in God as she endured through her night of faith. She recognizes that this trial is permitted by God so that she may continue her spiritual journey, and I think it is significant that she does more works of faith during this time than in her whole life because it shows she rose up to the challenge and remained determined to stay faithful. So not only does she retain her faith, but she makes the most of this trial by growing in her faith. Moreover, she also uses this trial in order to better pray for the faithless souls, which I found rather insightful on Therese’s part. She parallels her experiences to the experiences of those who do not believe in God and is now able to truly empathize with sinners because she is living through the same horrid darkness. I think she recognizes the uniqueness of her position having previously gotten a glimpse of the light of heaven through God’s grace, because now she can truly see how much these souls are at a loss for not experiencing the light. She begs God for His mercy for these faithless souls and prays on their behalf, while simultaneously using her suffering as penance for their sins to be redeemed, in the hopes that they may also be able to enter heaven. Therese showed distinct and effective ways to see suffering in the light of love and act accordingly, leading by example how Christians can continue to operate as an instrument of God while in a state of darkness.
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