This short essay was submitted on November 4, 2019 for my Christian Ethics of Love course.
In his Commentary on the First Epistle of John, Augustine says, “Love and do what you will” (ep. Io. tr. 7.7), emphasizing the intention of the action (rather than the action itself) in determining whether or not it is rooted in love. According to Augustine, harsh and brutal actions are acceptable as an act of love if the intention is to love. Conversely, flattering and friendly actions fueled by vices such as betrayal, pride, or slander cannot be considered actions of love, though they appear to be so. This is a “tough-love” mentality, where any disciplinary actions are not only justified, but encouraged. Augustine says, “You do it for discipline because the very love of loving itself does not allow you to disregard one who is undisciplined” (ep. Io. tr. 10.7). If someone truly loves you, he would not hesitate to call you out on your wrongdoings and weaknesses, and he will do everything he can to put you back on the right track. To Augustine, if you have love fueling your actions, “it is not possible to do anything but good” (ep. Io. tr. 10.7).
Though it may seem as if Augustine neglects the action of the person as if the action itself has no inherent value, he speaks of exemplar ways to love, perhaps hinting that some deeds of love are better than others. In Tractate 5.12, Augustine says, “You have heard where it attains perfection; its very end and its very measure the Lord has pointed out in the Gospel: ‘Greater love than this no one has than that he lays down his life for his friends’” (ep. Io. tr. 5.12). The act of sacrificing your life for those you love is held superior to any other actions of love, which entails that the action itself does matter. Augustine continues to say, “If you are not yet ready to die for your brother, now be ready to give your brother from you riches” (ep. Io. tr. 5.12). Again, Augustine speaks of an action that exemplifies love best. If the deed did not matter to Augustine, he would not note these things as the archetype for love. Perhaps he would even equating dying for your friends with beating your child if they are both rooted in love.
As humans, we have an imperfect vision of love, and so we look to Jesus on how to love. A key characteristic that Jesus exemplified was his mercy to those who had gone astray. Jesus would dine with sinners without disciplining them for their wrongdoings, but rather he simply loved them for who they are. God loves everyone in whatever state they are in their moral lives, and He shows mercy and patience to us instead of using force and abrasion to bring us back to Him when we turn away. Though I believe it is important to keep those you love accountable with tough-love discipline, it more important to retain the mercy that comes with loving. Augustine himself experienced the merciful love of God throughout his life. In Book III of Confessions, Augustine speaks of how his mother, Monica, desperately wanted to pull him out of his blasphemous lifestyle. However, God did not harshly interference into Augustine’s life to discipline him back towards a Christian lifestyle, but instead He prodded Monica to continue praying for her son until Augustine was ready to return to Him. God was patient and merciful to Augustine, and I believe that an excess of corrective deeds will fail to portray this necessary aspect of love.
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